Hmmm...this is going to take awhile

So went out last night. The "r" in rAFC is definitely lower case. I still have problems approaching people, although I did sortof approach one last night. I think the problem still remains that I went out with this one guy with whom things are still questionable. Still haven't kiss closed. Its apparent that this is not going anywhere, I just need to move on. Blah.

One thing I did last night, though, was really try to be observant. I looked at different people and figured out negs. It was kindof fun, although I really didn't use any. The only guy I talked to I managed to bump into several times. I really should have put more emphasis in making a conversation with him. Hmmm. I'm such an AFC.

Things to remember

1. Openers (say hi)
2. Eye contact
3. Neg
4. Kino

New weekend, new me

So, its been a couple weeks since I've been to the club. I was going to go while travelling, but then I got food poisoning and it totally screwed up my sleep system.

Tonight I'm working on fragrances. I bought:
Axe Body Wash
Koozie (or whatever those things are you use with body wash)
Dolce and Gabanna Eau de toilette & After Shave

When I prepare tonight, I will use fragrance and see what the reaction is. I will also learn a couple of opening routines and try them out on a few guys. My goal is to see how many guys I can talk to.

Of course, I'm going with the same friend as before. I'm still not sure if he is interested in me, although I let him know that I am interested in him. But that was in my AFC days. Now that I'm an rAFC, I need to play it cool and stop my one-itis. If something happens with him, great. If not, then maybe I'll be the LJBF initiator. We shall see...

Reps routine

One of the things that I probably need to do as a gay rAFC is develop some routines specifically for gay men. The first one I was thinking of is what I'm going to call the "reps routine", which basically goes like this:

Me: Let me ask you this, I rejoined a local gym recently, and started a lifting program. But the one thing that I get conflicting advice on is how many reps to do per set, and then how many sets to do. Some people say do 8-10 reps per set, then 5 sets. Others say do 12-15, but only three sets. What do you think?

Him: I do xxx reps and xxx sets...yada yada yada

Me: Sounds good, maybe I'll try that a few times and see how it works out. My gym just got a bunch of new equipment in there but I haven't tried it all. I'm anxious to learn some of them. Do you ever use the xxx equipment?

Him: yada yada yada

Me: At least they are doing some upgrades. The only problem is that they have a co-ed sauna, unlike the gym downtown where the sauna is actually in the men's room. There's a lot more to see there.

....etc...

Day One, Club

Went to the club last night to meet a friend. I've been attracted to this guy for awhile, but have never been able to kiss close him. He's stood me up on several occasions before, and the only time we seem to successfully meet is at the club. So, we meet there again. This time, though, I'm determined to put some of the things I've been reading to the test. So I get there and scope around, and see a couple interesting people. But I still don't have the nerve to approach. So then I stand next to this HG (like a male version of HB), and I open with "hi" and ask him about the beer koozy that he has. Its his first time there, he is a visitor from another city. We talk for about ten minutes, and my friend comes up and finds me. I introduce him to the new guy (whose name, up until then, I hadn't learned), Mike. Mike and I continue to talk, but there are several lulls in the conversation. We bring up work (we work for competitors, which is kinda cool), life in our respective cities, etc. We also do a lot of eye contact, I was surprised how much eye contact can be maintained if one of us initiates. At that point I crash and burn, have nothing to talk about, and the HG decides its time to walk around and find someone new. He said goodbye to me, and I said the same, although I forgot his name. Oops.

So, analysis. What I did right: Obeyed the 3s rule; Opened; Transitioned from opener to multiple topics; good eye contact. What I did wrong: Didn't have some canned topics to move into; didn't have any way to move to kino; forgot his name.

It was a good learning experience. In the meantime, I ended up spending most of the rest of the night with the guy I had planned to meet there. We did lots of kino, mostly while dancing. Still no kiss close though. I'm beginning to think that one is hopeless.

In the meantime, I've been practicing the eye contact while walking around public places. One of the added challenges of being a gay AFC moving toward gay PUA is that you also need to be able to identify appropriate targets. There are lots of str8 guys out there, and the assumption is generally that they are str8. Its obviously easier at gay or mixed clubs, because the assumption there is that everyone is gay. Of course, the thing that constantly amazes me is just how many gay men there are in the world. A lot more than people are willing to admit.

Tupolev

First Post

Hi,

This is a blog about my journey from AFC to PUA. However, being gay, my goal is not to pick up women but rather pick up men. How did I get started on this little adventure? It all began when I was at the airport (I travel tons) and heard an interview about a new book called "The Game", by Neil Strauss. The focus of the book is Neil's entry into the world of the Pickup Artist. I found lots of sites about becoming a PUA, but none about becoming a gay PUA. So I figured I would attempt to learn about the generic PUA techniques, and adapt them to the gay world.

I prefer to remain anonymous, and perhaps someday I might erase this altogether, but for the moment I will at least try to chronicle my attemps from AFC to PUA.

First, a little about myself. I am a short, moderately overweight male in my late 30's. I did not have a real relationship until I was in my late twenties, and that lasted several years. Generally, I've been shy around both guys and girls (when I was supposedly dating girls), and I have encountered the LJBF more times than I can count. I definitely suffer from one-itis, in that I tend to always focus my energies on one person. The only reason that I was able to build any nework of friends at all was via the internet, but that gets old after awhile. Some people describe me as cute, although I've never thought that. I have a lot of things to offer, and in many ways I find myself fascinating. But I never seem able to convey that to other guys.

My goal here is really to learn how to become a PUA and stop being an AFC. For those that want more references to what I'm talking about, please refer to www.fastseduction.com.

With all that said and done, I'll start with my first real post of an experience...